[it's fair enough; kavinsky was never much like mark. maybe in the superficial way-- a little fuckboying, being pretty to look at. but mark had never been the type to hurt himself, never mind the people who he loved, and kavinsky's ball o' wax involves a delightfully terrible relationship with himself that ends up splattered over everyone else.

different these days to how he was. but still.

he stares at vex for a long moment. breathing in, breathing out.] Yeah, maybe we never had a chance. I'm too much of a shithead, Vex. You know it took me like three weeks to realize I killed some people during the invasion and I never done that before. I guess I didn't care. Thought I didn't care. But I want to be better. I think I have to. To be with someone— [like you, he almost says.] Who I give that many fucks about. [no. it's time to be brave, so there's a sticky beat's silence, then he amends,] To be with someone I really love like you.

[but eventually he can't look at vex anymore. he doesn't have the fortification of cocaine. not even alcohol works like it used to.] I'm sorry I fucked it up.